Is Andrew Tate A Good Role Model For Our Boys?
By Richard Norman Rickey
March 4, 2023
If you are parent with a teen or young adult son, he probably knows who Andrew Tate is. And if they have a strong interest in sports, MMA or beautiful girls, then I can assure you they have already consumed hundreds of hours of Tate “red pill” content. According to google search data, in 2022 he was one the most searched names on the internet, and before a recent ban he had over 4 million subscribers on his Twitter and Instagram social media sites. Depending on whose opinion you listen to (and everyone who knows about him seems to have a strong opinion one way or another) Tate is either a misogynist, criminal, master manipulator, marketing genius, creative entrepreneur, or a positive force that is getting more boys to adopt a “healthy masculinity”. Tate is just the most watched of many content creators operating in the “manosphere”, also referred to as the “red pill” community. While some have called this a community of anti-feminists, or even a female hate group, more accurately it is a response to what these content creators feel is an over the top attack by radical feminist groups on males in general, and normal male masculinity traits in particular.
The group’s name is derived from a red and blue scene from the movie the Matrix starring Keanu Reeves (“Neo”). In the movie Neo is offered a choice: “You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe”. The red pill in the movie opens up his mind, and frees him to understand and explore truth and reality. If you take the red pill, you see the underpinnings of the world’s power networks and the nefarious dealings of those in control. The main idea behind the red pill community is that men need to wake up to how they are often manipulated, fooled, harmed and shunned by females and the feminist ideology. It also tells them how the legal system works in women’s favor, and why they should avoid marriage because of this. A common theme is explaining how social media (Instagram, Only Fans, Bumble, etc.) has empowered more girls, causing a higher percentage of boys to lose out in the dating world, but also creating a new dating market where the most desired young males (those “high value males” possessing “the sixes”; at least six feet tall, six pack abs, six figure income, etc.) get most of the girls. For teenage and young adult males, red pill content teaches them how to be more successful with girls, and even score more sex.
Some of the most influential manosphere creators that your sons have been watching or reading are the following:
Podcasts: Fresh and Fit, The Rational Male, Casual Bachelor, Kevin Samuels, Just Pearly Things, Entrepreneurs in Cars, Better Bachelor, Whatever, 21 Studios, Manosphere Highlights Daily, Aaron Clarey, and Jedediah Bila among others
Books: The Rationale Male by Rollo Tomassi, The Unplugged Alpha by Richard Cooper, Bachelor Pad Economics by Aaron Clarey, and Why Women Deserve Less by Myron Gaines.
On the surface Tate, and others in this sphere of young men influencers preach hard work, determination and no excuses. They show young men how to get better in physical fitness, dress and appearance, communication with the opposite sex, how to handle money, and what it takes to become successful in a job or career. They teach our boys to embrace a fierce individualism, a healthy skepticism of the “experts” (professors, psychologists, main stream media, etc.) who don’t understand what young men of today are really facing, and how to avoid the “land mines” laid by many of the opposite sex. Comparing gender roles to chess, Tate has said, “The king moves one square at a time and the queen can just zip across the board. So you’re partying in Miami – you see all these chicks on a boat. For the man to get on that boat, he has to move one square at a time: he has to get a good job, he has to get his credit right, he has to go through all this shit, stage by stage….. a chick, what does she need [to be on the boat]? Lip fillers? Boom! Zip! That’s the difference between the king and queen”. That analogy resonates with many young men today who have come to understand that to be wanted by the opposite sex, they have to work hard to achieve high value “king status” in the social media meat market or they will be completely ignored by the queens who are only attracted to the kings.
So there is some truth there, but when you dig a little deeper you will find that Tate has made several, and often repeated, shock statements (I won’t repeat them here) that anybody with just a half sense of decency will find offensive, some misogynists, and I would argue, mostly just ridiculous enough to garner more attention, grow his subscribers, and ka-ching - fatten his wallet. And this is the biggest objection I have to Tate, and all the other shock jock social media influencers who look to garner more clicks and subscriptions from our sons by saying borderline outlandish things, and having half naked girls on their shows. I don’t know if Tate really believes all the things he says. I hope not, and I think sometimes he’s just seeking a locker room laugh, but I just don’t know for sure.
Here is what I do know, the good male role models for my son have a sound moral compass that they won’t stray from for shock value, a cheap laugh, fame, or more money. They would never act so cocky and intentionally say things to make them seem superior, more worthy, or claim a higher value over another human being. You know where they stand because they say what they truly believe deep down, but they also know when to “bite their tongue”, so as not to be a negative influence on the young.
Andrew Tate may be a useful resource to our boys on how to have success in kick boxing, starting and growing an internet based business, and how to get a beautiful girl to hang on your arm as long as you have perceived “high value” status. He also appears to be a good and loyal brother. But he’s not a good enough model for what is masculinity. The way I score it, to obtain the title of a “Real Man”, you must demonstrate that you can maintain a long and healthy relationship with a woman, preferably a wife and mother, be a good provider, take on the hard challenges of life without making excuses or bragging about it, and have raised good kids. A great male role model is more protector than attacker, provider, anti-fragile, humble, strong yet caring, or what I like to label as a being a “velvet hammer” to the stubborn nails one will come across in this life. I sure hope I’ve been a much larger influence on my son and, if not me, his Grandpa Rhodes, on what it means to be a man than Tate or some of the other influencers in this manosphere camp.